November 21, 2011
The Cricket CompanyDear cricket:
This month the internet in my home has been very unsuccessful. It’s so slow and you can’t see videos on Youtube. Last night I was trying to send an important message via email and I can’t send it because the internet was so slow.
I was wondering if you can do something to make it faster because I think that people can’t keep paying for the service if it dosen’t work very well. Internet is very important in the daily life, for work, school, etc. I hope you can fix it!!! thanks.
Sincerely,
Sandra Gonzalez
Sandra,
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain! Without internet I don't know what I'd do!
A few thoughts on your letter:
1. Make sure you capitalize the name of the company - Cricket.
2. I really like your use of the word "via" instead of using the word "through."
3. In this sentence you need a comma before the word "because": I was wondering if you can do something to make it faster because I think that people can’t keep paying for the service if it dosen’t work very well. You need that comma because you have an independent clause before and after the word "because." This part - I was wondering if you can do something to make it faster - could be its own sentence. And so could this part: I think that people can’t keep paying for the service if it dosen’t work very well.